No Not Him Again

Oh Lerd in heaven. Not again. Probation officer said. I gotta' do every talk show offered. Not just Fox. And she wanted recordings of the Hannity show people, uh meetin' with me. She listened to them, and said what bullshit. It's a couple of bad fiction writers. Who can't get a book out. Telling me what to say. Lerd, Fox is true. Why would they tell me to say what ain't? She says now they turned their back on Zimmerman, like they did Cliven Bundy. And I'm the the new rating cow. Dear Lerd, she said they'll turn on me, and she will laugh. Lerd, curse her to hell!
Lerd, I thought I was going to have chance to wipe the floor with Bill Meher's pot head ass.
I went on there. With my pal, the mayor of Norwood, Ohia, the last living dixiecrat. 
Dear Lerd, why did you fersake me?
It was the over time segment. And a twitter came in. About how we should stop paying for dick pumps, and dick pills fer' guys like me. And use that money for better food and nutrition edumaction' in shcools. WTF Mcdonald's is all you need, let them do it fer' ya'. 
Also that commie Bernie Sanders. Not deserving of the name of the great Colonel Harlan Sanders. He talked of it just taking a little money, down the line in health care. From saving it do to the nutrition program. To help get anti opiate drugs out to poor addicts, and fund more rehabs. Dear Lerd, took me a few minutes. 
Then I understood. He was out to take away my right to fuck WHERZ.  I calls bullshit. Dear Lerd, then it happened. Senator Sanders must be on them Rooskie commie steroids from the old Olympics days. 
He jumped across the table. And jumped on top my scooter. And hit me about 25 times, knocked off my electric donkey. Lerd then he jumped on top of me,and hit me for like 5 minutes straight, Mayor Williams fresh off by-pass surgery had a heart attack. While Meher' and some Chef named Bourdain smoked the devil's weed. Dear Lerd. 

Now I'm held in a hospital, with secret service guarding my room. These violent thug commies. And I'm forced to watch Bernie explain that Democratic Socialism is what they do in Finland. Where they don't care what 2 grown up's do in the bedroom. And it is not this so called made up werd, totalitarianism. Like the old USSR. Though I do love Vladimir Putin, he should be president of the USA. A guy on Fox once said that he was like us Fox people. It must be true.