Dear Lerd, these beer guts. Fuckin' assholes are just welfare suckers. Frauds, False Prophets of the LERD!!!!!!!
I stole a scooter from Kroger. Took it and set up shop in front of the White House. Held a sign. "GET YER GUVURNMUNT HANDS OFF MY DICK PUMP" it says.
The militias showed to help me. Great Patriots my ass.
A bunch of fed marshalls, who have no right by the LERD to arrest us. Pulled up, and said "Jobless, loser miltia men. If you do not pack your toys. And go home. The fed gov will cut off your ssi checks, food stamps, and welfare. You have 15 minutes"
Dear LERD!!!! Those blasphemous traitors. They all packed and ran. Coward's , Sissie's , punks.
Finally I said fuck it and scooted a few blocks away. To find a wher. While I still had some viagra.
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Dear Lerd Probation Says Get GED, but First a Civic Class on American Goverenment. Help Lerd.
This is Satan's commie brainwashing. Lerd protect me. Had to pay for a Civic/American Government Class at UC. Of my own pocket. Cheap ass courts.
They had a discussion on me. Said I am a hypocrite just like Bundy. For we both claim to hate and not recognize the American Federal Government. Or it's laws. Using that as a reason to do what the fuck we want. Believing it is ok, for us to do what the fuck we want. Just not black, Latino, Asians, Native American, or sissy commie French types. Or per' penniless loafers, or women.
Then after we get busted acted like lawless mad men. We cry of violations of the Bill of Rights, a document that we do not believe in. Due to the fact it is hypocrisy. In the way we actually believe in the Articles of Confederation. Handed down by the Lerd, before the Constitution.
Shit, the professor a bitch, probably fucked the Dean. Said it's all just bullshit we make up to clog up the legal system. And we are just selfish redneck, unedumacated pyschopaths. Using it to justify doin'. What the fuck we want.
And I said help me Lerd. Help me Lerd. They speak against the principles of my Church dear Lerd.
They had a discussion on me. Said I am a hypocrite just like Bundy. For we both claim to hate and not recognize the American Federal Government. Or it's laws. Using that as a reason to do what the fuck we want. Believing it is ok, for us to do what the fuck we want. Just not black, Latino, Asians, Native American, or sissy commie French types. Or per' penniless loafers, or women.
Then after we get busted acted like lawless mad men. We cry of violations of the Bill of Rights, a document that we do not believe in. Due to the fact it is hypocrisy. In the way we actually believe in the Articles of Confederation. Handed down by the Lerd, before the Constitution.
Shit, the professor a bitch, probably fucked the Dean. Said it's all just bullshit we make up to clog up the legal system. And we are just selfish redneck, unedumacated pyschopaths. Using it to justify doin'. What the fuck we want.
And I said help me Lerd. Help me Lerd. They speak against the principles of my Church dear Lerd.
No Not Him Again
Oh Lerd in heaven. Not again. Probation officer said. I gotta' do every talk show offered. Not just Fox. And she wanted recordings of the Hannity show people, uh meetin' with me. She listened to them, and said what bullshit. It's a couple of bad fiction writers. Who can't get a book out. Telling me what to say. Lerd, Fox is true. Why would they tell me to say what ain't? She says now they turned their back on Zimmerman, like they did Cliven Bundy. And I'm the the new rating cow. Dear Lerd, she said they'll turn on me, and she will laugh. Lerd, curse her to hell!
Lerd, I thought I was going to have chance to wipe the floor with Bill Meher's pot head ass.
I went on there. With my pal, the mayor of Norwood, Ohia, the last living dixiecrat.
Dear Lerd, why did you fersake me?
It was the over time segment. And a twitter came in. About how we should stop paying for dick pumps, and dick pills fer' guys like me. And use that money for better food and nutrition edumaction' in shcools. WTF Mcdonald's is all you need, let them do it fer' ya'.
Also that commie Bernie Sanders. Not deserving of the name of the great Colonel Harlan Sanders. He talked of it just taking a little money, down the line in health care. From saving it do to the nutrition program. To help get anti opiate drugs out to poor addicts, and fund more rehabs. Dear Lerd, took me a few minutes.
Then I understood. He was out to take away my right to fuck WHERZ. I calls bullshit. Dear Lerd, then it happened. Senator Sanders must be on them Rooskie commie steroids from the old Olympics days.
He jumped across the table. And jumped on top my scooter. And hit me about 25 times, knocked off my electric donkey. Lerd then he jumped on top of me,and hit me for like 5 minutes straight, Mayor Williams fresh off by-pass surgery had a heart attack. While Meher' and some Chef named Bourdain smoked the devil's weed. Dear Lerd.
Now I'm held in a hospital, with secret service guarding my room. These violent thug commies. And I'm forced to watch Bernie explain that Democratic Socialism is what they do in Finland. Where they don't care what 2 grown up's do in the bedroom. And it is not this so called made up werd, totalitarianism. Like the old USSR. Though I do love Vladimir Putin, he should be president of the USA. A guy on Fox once said that he was like us Fox people. It must be true.
Lerd, I thought I was going to have chance to wipe the floor with Bill Meher's pot head ass.
I went on there. With my pal, the mayor of Norwood, Ohia, the last living dixiecrat.
Dear Lerd, why did you fersake me?
It was the over time segment. And a twitter came in. About how we should stop paying for dick pumps, and dick pills fer' guys like me. And use that money for better food and nutrition edumaction' in shcools. WTF Mcdonald's is all you need, let them do it fer' ya'.
Also that commie Bernie Sanders. Not deserving of the name of the great Colonel Harlan Sanders. He talked of it just taking a little money, down the line in health care. From saving it do to the nutrition program. To help get anti opiate drugs out to poor addicts, and fund more rehabs. Dear Lerd, took me a few minutes.
Then I understood. He was out to take away my right to fuck WHERZ. I calls bullshit. Dear Lerd, then it happened. Senator Sanders must be on them Rooskie commie steroids from the old Olympics days.
He jumped across the table. And jumped on top my scooter. And hit me about 25 times, knocked off my electric donkey. Lerd then he jumped on top of me,and hit me for like 5 minutes straight, Mayor Williams fresh off by-pass surgery had a heart attack. While Meher' and some Chef named Bourdain smoked the devil's weed. Dear Lerd.
Now I'm held in a hospital, with secret service guarding my room. These violent thug commies. And I'm forced to watch Bernie explain that Democratic Socialism is what they do in Finland. Where they don't care what 2 grown up's do in the bedroom. And it is not this so called made up werd, totalitarianism. Like the old USSR. Though I do love Vladimir Putin, he should be president of the USA. A guy on Fox once said that he was like us Fox people. It must be true.
Friday, June 12, 2015
This blog is satire.
This blog is based on a 400 lb old man that swims at my Y.
He preaches morals and religion. Then 2 minutes later will graphically loudly, proudly boast of his escapades with poor female heroin addicts.
I see this as semi-predatory behavior. I'm not prude but if one was to partake of the oldest profession. Why not save $ and get a pro. And not take advantage of a person in need of help.
This blog is pure satire, with an occasional true eve tossed in . Thank You disclaimer.
He preaches morals and religion. Then 2 minutes later will graphically loudly, proudly boast of his escapades with poor female heroin addicts.
I see this as semi-predatory behavior. I'm not prude but if one was to partake of the oldest profession. Why not save $ and get a pro. And not take advantage of a person in need of help.
This blog is pure satire, with an occasional true eve tossed in . Thank You disclaimer.
Thursday, June 11, 2015
Oh Lerd I'm going to be on Fox, CNN, MSNBC, ABC,CBS , and Fox.
Dear Lerd, I'm going to be on Sean Hannity. His people were just at my place. They told me what to say. That Zimmerman was high on pills, and had opiate withdraw. And saw the wher and the dope boy. And in a deal with 'em both gone wrong.He went nuts, and shot the whole damned place up. This part is what I saw, with my own eyes. He was a beating his meat as he fired the guns. Swear on the Lerd.
Well I got to get permission from the probation slert. So I can travel to all these shows. I'm going to be a national hero, like Zimmerman until he got on pills. Oh Lerd, fame won't make me like him. I did not know he used to call the cops on people for silly stuff. Something like 64 times. And that he had 3 felony arrest prior to when he did his job. Protecting his neighborhood. Fucker must have been a wayward. of The Lerd.Musta' had to do some deep digging to find that shit out. And Gerge musta been on pills the whole time, like they said Dear Lerd.
Well I got to get permission from the probation slert. So I can travel to all these shows. I'm going to be a national hero, like Zimmerman until he got on pills. Oh Lerd, fame won't make me like him. I did not know he used to call the cops on people for silly stuff. Something like 64 times. And that he had 3 felony arrest prior to when he did his job. Protecting his neighborhood. Fucker must have been a wayward. of The Lerd.Musta' had to do some deep digging to find that shit out. And Gerge musta been on pills the whole time, like they said Dear Lerd.
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
Dear Lerd , Fergive Me Fer i have Sinned Lerd
So I won this trip to a gated community. Fer a weekend in Flerda. Praise the Lerd.
So I take my rental scooter and head to Mcdonald's of the merning. I ask my fellow brothers of ball caps sitting upon they noggin, where the wherz can be found.
So after a day of sight seeing, I scoot up to the local supermarket and find a wher bumming change. She hops on and we go to my gated community.
Lerd, we get back. She hops off . Down the road come some fat Mexican lookin' mother fucker on a bobcat with two light machine guns mounted by the headlights. She texted some fucker as we rode in.
A hip hoppiy hoopity pulls up to my bungalow. And she goes to the car. Suddenly this fat Mexican looking mother fucker, opens fire. Killing my wher. Then he pulls up and starts hooting into the passenger der of the car.
I'm pissed he killed my wher. The only one I could find. I scoots up behind this crazed fat illegal. Pulls my 5 shot snub nose .38 from my fat rolls. Scoot up beside him. As he is enjoying the demonic carnage. Screaming something about how these type always get away. And about knowing who is, and how he will fuckin' kill ya. I scoots up and pop one right in his fat head. Mexican fat fucker is dead.
Cops come, and they say I just popped Gerge Zimmerman Oh Lerd. He was my idol. my hero, and I have betrayed you dear Lerd. Forgive me.
The prosecutor refused to charge me on the fact , that I scooted my ground.
Dear Lerd please help me , my slert probation officer got wind on the news. I was supposed to get permission to leave state. Help me Lerd.
So I take my rental scooter and head to Mcdonald's of the merning. I ask my fellow brothers of ball caps sitting upon they noggin, where the wherz can be found.
So after a day of sight seeing, I scoot up to the local supermarket and find a wher bumming change. She hops on and we go to my gated community.
Lerd, we get back. She hops off . Down the road come some fat Mexican lookin' mother fucker on a bobcat with two light machine guns mounted by the headlights. She texted some fucker as we rode in.
A hip hoppiy hoopity pulls up to my bungalow. And she goes to the car. Suddenly this fat Mexican looking mother fucker, opens fire. Killing my wher. Then he pulls up and starts hooting into the passenger der of the car.
I'm pissed he killed my wher. The only one I could find. I scoots up behind this crazed fat illegal. Pulls my 5 shot snub nose .38 from my fat rolls. Scoot up beside him. As he is enjoying the demonic carnage. Screaming something about how these type always get away. And about knowing who is, and how he will fuckin' kill ya. I scoots up and pop one right in his fat head. Mexican fat fucker is dead.
Cops come, and they say I just popped Gerge Zimmerman Oh Lerd. He was my idol. my hero, and I have betrayed you dear Lerd. Forgive me.
The prosecutor refused to charge me on the fact , that I scooted my ground.
Dear Lerd please help me , my slert probation officer got wind on the news. I was supposed to get permission to leave state. Help me Lerd.
Monday, June 8, 2015
I was a Trampoline Oh Lerd
That devil worshippin' nonbeliever Meher. Help me Dear Lerd. He likes to smoke the devil's weed. Then jump up and down on a trampoline for exercise. They lost his mini trampoline. Dear Lerd. The asshole had me tied up and laye on the fler. Came out in a NY Met's uniform cleets and all. And jumped on my big belly for about 45 minutes. And Told me the Reds suck. How was I to know, he was a minerity owner of the Mets.
Then I was returned to jail. I demanded a chaplain. I got this young fucker, with a big beard, and fuckin' tatooo's. I knew he was a false prophet. When he refused to help me pray for revenge upon Meher, the Judge, and the jogging about meth wher that had me arrested. And fer' her evil slert friends. That beat me with metal dildo's and sprayed me with burning spicy fake jizz. Oh Lerd.
He said he was from some campus church. And was his day to volunteer at the jail. And asked me to think about this.
That the Lerd, in heaven might be punishing me for taking advantage of those who do not have all their faculties, do to addiction and despair.
And told me I should perhaps. Change my ways. Fuckin false prophet bastard.
And to top it off the old fart that works out and eats right. Has 2 girlfriends that sposed to be like 64. But only look about 52. Says he met them at the gym and a yoga class. Bullshit. He sold his soul to Satan.
Then I was returned to jail. I demanded a chaplain. I got this young fucker, with a big beard, and fuckin' tatooo's. I knew he was a false prophet. When he refused to help me pray for revenge upon Meher, the Judge, and the jogging about meth wher that had me arrested. And fer' her evil slert friends. That beat me with metal dildo's and sprayed me with burning spicy fake jizz. Oh Lerd.
He said he was from some campus church. And was his day to volunteer at the jail. And asked me to think about this.
That the Lerd, in heaven might be punishing me for taking advantage of those who do not have all their faculties, do to addiction and despair.
And told me I should perhaps. Change my ways. Fuckin false prophet bastard.
And to top it off the old fart that works out and eats right. Has 2 girlfriends that sposed to be like 64. But only look about 52. Says he met them at the gym and a yoga class. Bullshit. He sold his soul to Satan.
Please Save Me Lerd, I'm A Prop Fer A Atheierst Comedian Help Lerd.
Lerd, please help me. I have been brought in for probation violation. I was found trying to purchase viagra at a dance clerb. Lerd Help Lerd. Damned Liberal Slert Judge,has gotten approval for an alternative sentence. I'm now a prop in a so called edumactional talk by the demonic Bill Meher! Lerd Why am I forsaken Help Me Lerd.
Lerd he is crazy. He claims he eateth not your bounty of Mcdonald's and frozen pizza. Maybe that is why he is crazy.
First he brings out another old man. Who is a Gerd Damned Egghead, says he is 70 like me but walks fast everyday, does that gay demonic yoga, eats so called fresh veggies and some lean meat. Oh Lerd.
He is 6 feet tall and weighs 189. Oh Lerd He madeth a pact with the devil. Then Bill Meher has a nurse stab me in my ass cheek. And water gushes ferth. Claims I'm 5 feet 9 and 400 pounds, cuz i sit on my ass, and eat salt ridden faux food all day. Lerd Help me.
Then the real dinger. He says why I'm put out on display. when asked why they are being so cruel to me. He says all I do is ride a scooter, eat fast food, and pop hard on pills, play with a penis pump, and chase drug addicted women about for sex. All on the tax payers dime. All while per kids starve. And that I'm sentenced to this for attempted rape. Satan is amongst us Lerd. Help me.And he says that old egghead volunteers feeding fucking bums 3 times a week. Fuck him.
And finally he says I inspired in part this rant.
Lerd he is crazy. He claims he eateth not your bounty of Mcdonald's and frozen pizza. Maybe that is why he is crazy.
First he brings out another old man. Who is a Gerd Damned Egghead, says he is 70 like me but walks fast everyday, does that gay demonic yoga, eats so called fresh veggies and some lean meat. Oh Lerd.
He is 6 feet tall and weighs 189. Oh Lerd He madeth a pact with the devil. Then Bill Meher has a nurse stab me in my ass cheek. And water gushes ferth. Claims I'm 5 feet 9 and 400 pounds, cuz i sit on my ass, and eat salt ridden faux food all day. Lerd Help me.
And finally he says I inspired in part this rant.
Monday, June 1, 2015
Trial and Tribulation Please Help Me Dear Lerd!
Oh, help me Lerd. I am a convicted man. I rolled a liberal judge an accursed slert of man hate. And a bitch for a persecutor as well. Or is it prosecutor? Help me Lerd. All 10 wherz showed for court. I even had a loony harlot public defender. She plead me no contest. Said she believes I need to be in a nut house. Help me Lerd. So away they sent me.
This place I have to endure. Lectures from recovered drug wherz. Lerd, They called me a sexual predator. Preying on the addicted. They told of corrupt old politicians. (I used to drink and chase wherz with old Speaker Boner out in Reading.Mind You) Said they upped the heroin supply to fill the private jails. Cuz the jail companies paid them money.
Told of how our brave men now guard poppy fields of the mid east. Some fer pills from drug companies(to hook the rich) , others fer cheap smacky dog. Fer the per. Lerd I love the plan. Creates wherz for my vote. Also I m banned from any erectile drug prescriptions for 6 months upon release.
To top it off. They had Bill Meher come in and chastise me. Told me since I weigh 450 pounds, can't walk right, have high blood pressure, refuse to eat like my doctor says, and have to use laxatives and stool softeners. And sometimes a spoon. Why in the hell do I need to fuck on America's dime.
He then called me a hypocrite. And blew the smoke of the devils weed in my face. Oh help me Lerd.
And to top it off the ghost of George Carlin came up from hell and said I should consider euthanasia. Lerd smite thee wicked hippies.
This place I have to endure. Lectures from recovered drug wherz. Lerd, They called me a sexual predator. Preying on the addicted. They told of corrupt old politicians. (I used to drink and chase wherz with old Speaker Boner out in Reading.Mind You) Said they upped the heroin supply to fill the private jails. Cuz the jail companies paid them money.
Told of how our brave men now guard poppy fields of the mid east. Some fer pills from drug companies(to hook the rich) , others fer cheap smacky dog. Fer the per. Lerd I love the plan. Creates wherz for my vote. Also I m banned from any erectile drug prescriptions for 6 months upon release.
To top it off. They had Bill Meher come in and chastise me. Told me since I weigh 450 pounds, can't walk right, have high blood pressure, refuse to eat like my doctor says, and have to use laxatives and stool softeners. And sometimes a spoon. Why in the hell do I need to fuck on America's dime.
He then called me a hypocrite. And blew the smoke of the devils weed in my face. Oh help me Lerd.
And to top it off the ghost of George Carlin came up from hell and said I should consider euthanasia. Lerd smite thee wicked hippies.
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