Oh Lerd , Help Me Lerd. I lay here in the hospital. Bruised and broken. Broken bones, Burnt skin from pepper spray, Oh Lerd.
I was invited as a winner at Mcdonald's to a cookout in a park. It was in snooty neighborhood. Chef Meinlein Der Blaktar was grilling the new Mclizzard. Mclizzard, dealing with an invasive species known as the European Wall Lizzard. What better way than to make lizzard burgers, and lizzard mcnuggets. All for a new 25 cent special value menu. They even provided a valet, to bring a scooter to my truck.
So I had my fill. And I was felling the feeling from my new cialis. So i seen these wherz jogging about in skin tight duds. So I scoot up to one. And pull out a 20 spot. As is custom. And say 20 dollar , make me hollar. She scoffed. So I told her 25 no mer. These must be meth wherz, they was jogging about in a frenzy. She said "fuck off" So i scooted up and slapped her ass. Then rammed the scooter into her knocking her flat on her ass. Oh Lerd, then she yelled "Help" And about 10 mer, came outta nowhere. One pulled a small pipe thingy from a fanny pack. Hit a button and it got long like my dong, on my new cialis. She ran over and hit me hard on the head. Drawing blood. 2 mer did the same thing. Knocking me off my electeric donkey.
I screamed please Lerd, save me as 3 mer came and sprayed me down with a burning fizz.
I was snotting and blinded. All I could make out was a like 10 of them. Hitting me with the metal dicks, and spraying me with burning fizz that smelled of hot sauce. I lost it and fell out. And here I am.
Handcuffed to a gurney. And told I will be transported to the county jail infirmary in the morning. A cop standing outside the der. Lerd please, help me , save me from these blasphemers of hell.
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